The Road More or Less Traveled

Thank you for welcoming me back with wide open arms!

Thank you for putting a Krispy Kreme right on the highway as we exited the border area so that I could have an original glazed instead of a crappy Mexican donut (they could stand to learn a thing or two about pastry in Mexico!).
Thank you for putting a Rudy's BBQ in every town as we drove along the highway to Austin. I am full of smoked meat and I am very happy.
Thank you for all the friendly people who want to go out of their way for me, whether it's giving me directions, bringing me food or just saying "Y'all have a good now now, y'hear?" and not expect a "tip" for their time.
Thank you for loving me like I love you Texas.

I'll be back for sure!
Love,
Sarah xoxox

ARU and I crossed the border back into Texas this afternoon.
I never thought I would be so happy to be in the United States of America, but when I saw that Lone Star flag, I nearly wept with joy.
I was *so* happy to be out of Mexico.

Crossing the border was an absolute farce...

ARU had his tourist visa taken by one official when we canceled the car permit and then told by another at immigration that he needed it to leave the country. When he went back to the first official she said she didn't have it (I saw her take it!) and the second official wasn't going to give him his exit stamp! For a second, it looked like we were going to be stuck in Mexico (well, ARU anyways, because I was ready to walk across the bridge with all my bags and get on the first bus to the airport!). The second official relented and stamped his passport without him returning the tourist card. AND... she didn't ask for a "tip". That was the first time in the entire trip that a government official has actually wanted to help us without wanting something in return. But they charged us an exit tax twice (once when we went to the gate to ask for directions - he pointed us back the way we came but charged us, and then again when we went through the gate, even though we told him we were just there and already paid!), so that negated the previous kindness.

It took us almost two hours to cross one teeny tiny bridge.
I'll go back one day, but for now I'll be happy  with the memories.

Thank you for being such a pleasant host over the last month.
I appreciate you being patient with our language barriers and cultural differences.
I have enjoyed your beautiful scenery and (mostly) delicious food.

I will not, however, miss the following things:
Having to pay to use a toilet that has no seat, no toilet paper and no soap to wash my hands;
Throwing my used toilet paper into the bin beside the toilet;
Being stopped every hour at a military checkpoint to be questioned or to have the car searched ;
Being asked for a "tip" (read: bribe) by every official I am forced to do business with;
Not being able to brush my teeth unless I have a bottle of purified water;
Morning rush hour in Mexico City;
Insane Mexican drivers and even crazier Mexican pedestrians

Thanks again Mexico. It's been nice getting to know you.
I'll see you again, I'm sure.

Love, 
Sarah xoxo

I had a great time in Belize! 
It was good to see my Dad after 8 years and to meet all the people that he has been spending his time with. They are all very nice and extremely generous people and they are all taking very good care of him.
Here´s a brief recap of the week we spent in Belize -
Monday March 13: The Belize Zoo (see entry from 3/15 for details)

Tuesday March 14: The Belize Museum and Shopping (see entry from 3/15 for details)

Wednesday March 15: Altun Ha and Old Belize (see entry from 3/15 for details)

Thursday March 16: Dave, ARU and I took a water taxi from Belize City to San Pedro via Caye Caulker. The ride was a little over 1.5 hours through the beautiful blue Carribean Ocean, right beside the Barrier Reef. I saw dolphin and rays and got a wicked sunburn. We walked the beach at San Pedro and gawked at all the fancy schmancy resorts and stopped to have lunch, just like real touristas! Most people rent a golf cart to get around San Pedro, but we walked it. ARU and Dave found a nice shady bench to sit on (right in front of a place called "The Jerk Spot"... coincidence or not? You decide.) while I shopped. Shopping in foreign countries is so much fun! Everything is the same, but different! Even buying tampons becomes an adventure! I stocked up on rum and trinkets and more rum and then we got back on the boat for the return trip back to Belize City. On the way we passed by the only golf course in Belize. Fees are $200 UDS per day and it's got one hell of a water hazzard! Needless to say, we didn't stop for a round. We headed back into Ladyville and met up with Patricia who cooked us more good food. Have I mentioned how good her cooking is? I could eat rice and beans and stew chicken everyday and be pretty happy. Well, maybe a little Texas BBQ now and then as well...

Friday March 17: ARU, Dave, Particia and I drove the Humminbird Highway. It was absolutely beautiful. Lush green valleys and dense tropical jungle. ARU and I visitied the inland Blue Hole, a natural cave with icy blue water and visited with a young Mayan girl who was selling handmade jewelry and embroidery. We continued south, past vast orchards of oranges and grapefruit, plantains and banannas. Then Dave and I got swarmed by bees (see entry from 3/18 for all the gory details) and after that brief detour, we visited some friends of Dave´s at Toucan Sittee, a gorgeous cabana-style resort with beautiful gardens and an incredible assortment of native plants and animals. Patricia walked around the grounds with me and patiently answered all of my "what's this" questions. Now I know what a guava tree looks like! We left Neville's place and stopped at the property formerly owned by my Mom and Dad. It was a nice spot, just across from the river, with huge mango trees all over the place. There were lots of flowers and jungle all around and a nice little house that my folks and Eli (my dalmatian) lived in for a while. I can see why they liked it so much... apart from the sand fleas! We left the Sittee and drove further south to just before Puenta Gorda to visit with Patricia's sister Concha and her mother Hortense. Hortense is a highly respected traditional healer and herbalist who has taught all over the world and is considered to be a master healer in her country. She is a small woman with strong eyes and a powerful laugh. I am really happy to have met her. And Concha was so kind as to let us rest and have a cup of tea after the bee attack. She gave me a big hug at the end of the visit and told me that I was her niece now, so I should consider myself family. I am very lucky to have such a large extended family (who just happen to live in a beautiful tropical country with great food and good weather most of the time!). After we played with the puppies ("potlickers" is what they call mutts in creole) and said our goodbyes, we headed back home, past the orange juice factories and sugar cane trucks, through the jungle highlands and the arrid plains (they have pine trees in Belize! The biogeoclimactic zones were very impressive.) back to Ladyville for more good vittles (even leftovers taste great when you fry them in coconut oil!). I went back to the hotel and nursed my wounds as best I could, but I still woke up with a swollen eye, hand and leg. Stupid bees.

Saturday March 18: A day of shopping for souvinirs and going to market. I love going to foreign grocery stores and bought all the spices I would need to make traditional Belizean food at home. I bought presents (some for you, some for me) and just hung out and talked with Patricia. It was good to get to know her better, not to mention to pick her brain about her cooking! We finished off the night with Belizean fast food - panades (like a deep fried perogy), salbuttes (like an open-faced taco) and some other things that I can't remember, but boy, were they good. I washed it down with a pineapple fanta soda (which I liked so much that I brought home a half dozen!) and headed off to bed with visions of panades dancing in my head.

Sunday March 19: Today Dave, Patricia, ARU and I took a boat trip down the New River to the Mayan ruins at Lamanai. We had an excellent young guide who pointed out all kinds of wildlife (birds, bats, crocs, fish, yadda yadda yadda) and who guided us through the temples and acted as naturalist as well, showing us traditional healing plants and herbs. Lunch was excellent as well (stew chicken and rice and beans and Coca-Cola, which tastes very different in Central America due to the use of cane sugar and not corn sugar). I met two girls from Squamish on the tour (!) who climbed that temple like it was nothing. I asked them if they were "Chief" climbers and they laughed and asked how I knew. I knew because it took them, like, two minutes to go up all 50 steps to the top!
Figures I go halfway down the continent to meet girls from up the road!
After the tour, we all went out for a nice dinner at a swank hotel where we had conch fritters, seafood creole and cheesecake for dessert. I love pineapple, but have learned that I do not like papaya (it tastes like feet smell!). Lessons learned, right?

We left Belize on Monday morning and although I was sad to leave my Dad, I know he is in a good place with good people and that made it easier to go. I'll try to get back and see him again before the end of the year. Chriatmas in Belize doesn't sound like a bad idea...

ARU and I dropped off a Belizean police officer (who had asked us for a ride into Corozol after he stopped us at a police checkpoint) and crossed the border back into Mexico (with the obligitory bribe to the border official who stamped our visas and then waived us through. What is it with Mexico and officials being asshats?). We made our way to Villahermosa, through Tabasco (37 degrees!), where we saw chiles drying on the side of the road and a dead puma and stopped for the night (same hotel as on the way in ) and had a mediocre dinner. I missed Belize already!

Tuesday morning we drove from Villahermosa to just outside of Puebla where we stayed at a strange skeevy little hotel called the "San Isidoro Auto Hotel". It was a place for truckers, but I say it was more for f*ckers... it had an hourly rate, mirrors all over the rooms, plastic sheets on the mattress and free porn. You be the judge. I did watch some some excellent vintage porn from the 70's starring John Holmes though. Classic stuff man. You can't even rent it anymore... or so someone told me...

Wednesday morning we steeled ourselves for the journey into hell, also known as Mexcio City. We got lost... many many times and it took us about 3 hours to go 100 km. We finally got some nice man to lead us to the freeway and we got the hell out of there. I'm sure it's a nice place, but I won't be going back anytime soon!
And now I find myself in Saltillo, Mexico, writing this long overdue update. We'll be crossing the border into Texas tomorrow and heading straight for Rudy's BBQ in San Antonio! Welcome Home, Sarah! If I'm not too full of meaty goodness, I'll write again tomorrow.

Thanks for all your comments to my past posts. It's nice to hear from familliar people when I'm so far away :)

Peace.

I've just been having too good a time to stop and post an update.
This poor, tiny country is so beautiful and the people we have meet have been incredibly nice (even Vincent the Pimp!).
We arrived last Saturday night and found Dave on the side of the highway, waiting to direct us to the house that he lives in. 
He stood out as the only white guy in a sea of dark faces (and it was night, too). I hadn't seen him in about 8 years and was worried that I wouldn't recognize him, but as it turns out, he looks pretty much the same, just thinner, darker and wrinklier!

He got in the Jeep (which I have nicknamed D'ora the Explorah - thank you LB for the suggestion. You win a bottle of Belizean Rum!) and directed us down this pothole filled pressed dirt road, past abandoned shacks and burned out vehicles, though a gang of kids ("the two-bit gang") and a group of crackheads (Dave knew them all...), down a lane and into 110 Dawn Road in Ladyville (about 10 miles from Belize City).
The house was a very nice, well kept 2 room home with a tile floor and a nice yard. There are palm trees and aloe plants and almond and mango trees and parrots and nightingales and squirrels and geckos (both inside and out. They make a loud barking noise. Such a big sound from such a small animal!).
We met Patricia and her daughter Helen (who is all legs and has a teeny tiny squeaky voice...) and settled in for a cup of tea and catch up time, which consisted of the telling of the stories that are mandatory at every Newton family gathering, even though you have heard them all before and they never change!
Dad and I stayed up until 2:30AM talking and filling each other in on the last 8 years. Then he woke me up at 6:30AM, asking if the parrots had woken me up.
"Nope, just you," I responded  :)
Patricia made a most excellent breakfast, the best one I have had since being on the trip, mostly because it did not contain any refried beans, tortillas or tomatoes! Just good old fashioned scrambled eggs, baked beans, bacon and Belizean fry bread (must get recipe!). She has proven to be a most excellent cook and I have been pestering her at every meal, asking "What's this?" and "What are you doing now?". 
I like Belizean food... cook anything in coconut oil and I will probably eat it, including "Gibnut", which is Pacca, a large jungle rodent. I know you are all probably very sad that we cannot get it in Canada! Perhaps I will have it shipped and we can start a new Christmas tradition...

Sunday was spent touring through Belize City, which, just like any major city has its share of rich and poor, the have and the have not. Being from Vancouver, where the richest neighbourhood borders the poorest neighbourhood and where sometimes the neighbours are lawyers or crackers, or both at the same time, I was not overwhelmed by the poverty. I accept the difference and do not speculate about how these people feel about being impoverished. I refuse to feel bad for these people; they live a life that is different from mine, that's all. Not better, not worse, just different.
ARU and I checked into the Global Village Hotel, about 1 km from Dad's place. It is huge hotel run by a Taiwanese family (there are a lot of "Chinee" in Belize... and Mennonites - who knew?). The rooms are big and the ceilings are high and the internet connection is in Taiwanese. Thank god the TV is in English! I finally got to watch Family Guy (oh TV... I missed you so much. Don't ever leave me again!).

Monday we went to the Belize Zoo to see the local wildlife. I was there to see the Tapir, Belize's national animal (also called a mountain cow; related to elephants and rhinos) and the Jabiru Stork, the largest flighted bird in the world. It was a well put together place and focused on educating the locals, who usually only see these animals in restaurants on plates. ARU was most happy with the bench and shade exhibits. He spent a lot of time at those ones.
Monday night Patricia made Ricardo Chicken ("Stew Chicken") and Coconut Rice and potato salad. It was so good. The best meal I've had since Texas! I will have to go to the grocery store before I leave and stock up on spices.

Tuesday was spent at the Belize Museum, housed in the former jail, and sampling rum at the Tourist Village (you have to be a cruise ship passenger to be allowed in this area. The place was packed with Yankees and reminded me why I would never want to take a cruise (What an artificial experience. Being herded into one area after another, everyone buying the same tshirts and keychains, every girl having her hair braided and buying duty free vodka to pour into your new "I Heart Belize" waterbottle before you get back on the ship. Thanks, but no thanks. That's not the vacation that I want to have). We did go to the Pirate Museum, which was really just a liquor store with pirate flags and staff wearing eye patches, but hey, free rum! ARU and I each bought a bottle and we made our way back to Dad's place for a cup of tea before dinner. We went to a local restaurant and bar called Celebrities and had the fish. The fish was delish. For dessert we had "Belizean Coconut Pie" which just turned out to be regular coconut cream pie from a box, but I guess because it was on a Belizean plate and cut with a Belizean knife it was somehow Belizean. Whatever. I ate it. It was good.

Today we went to Altun Ha, a major Mayan ruin in Belize. We arrived first thing in the morning, ahead of all the Yankees on their shore excursion and had the place to ourselves for about an hour. We climbed the temples and now my gimpy knee is paying the price! It was beautiful and quite spectacular. Most of the site has yet to be excavated. You really should go and look at the pictures! We bought a cherimoya (custard apple) from one of the vendors (picked from a tree on the grounds of Altun Ha) for the road and left before the sun (and the Yankees) drove us crazy.
After that, we made our way to Old Belize, another tourist area complete with a fake beach and long bar. The only redeeming feature was an interpretive museum showing the history of Belize, complete with a tropical jungle, Mayan temple and a chicle farm. There was a second generation chiclero (chicle maker) who showed me how he collects, boils and kneads the sap of the sapodilla tree to form a chewy rubber gum substance. It was very interesting and very informative, much better than the museum and, to my sheer joy, devoid of any tourist but me!

Tomorrow we will take a boat to San Pedro Town and tour through the Quays (islands) and hopefully eat more delicious food and drink rum and lie on the beach and do... nothing!

Now go and look at the pictures. I haven't labeled them yet, so make up your own stories!

Peace.

WE MADE IT! 
I am delighted to report that after 6,300km and about 75 hours of driving, ARU and I pulled up to Dad's house at about 7:00 last night. We were tired, hot and a little worse for wear, but we made it nonetheless. In true fashion, crossing the border was an adventure (the motto of this trip is becoming "Lessons learned, lessons learned...).
We pulled up to the Chetumal, Mexico crossing at about 3:30PM and were directed to pull over by a young black man. Picture it:
He's wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey (Aikman), jeans that are so far down his backside that they were in danger of sliding off his lanky frame and a camouflage cap that hides a mess of cornrows. He's got three gold teeth and giant diamonds in his ears. He's got bling on all his fingers. He's smoking a cigarette, smells of beer and has the hiccups.
He points us over to the side of the road and sprays the tires with formaldehyde. 
"For de boogs", he says and hands us a bill for $10 BZ (about $5 USD). ARU pays him and then utters the words that this guy was just waiting to hear...
"This is our first time here... is this where we cross the border into Belize?"
"Foorst time een Belize, eh? Welcoom to ma kountree". He thrusts his hand through the window.
"Vincent gonna take good care a yoo. Ah will assist you, help yoo get troo immigraashon, get da permidt. Ah treet ya good and at de end, you give Vincent a tip for de good help. OK? You got da room fer me inna backseat?", as he opens the rear passenger door and jumps in.
(in my head I am thinking "WTF are we doing letting a stranger in the car?!", but I said nothing, even though this guy was staring at me in a way which made me feel very uncomfortable)
"OK, drive up dere, park de trook as cloose as ya can. We go inside de buildin. Ah been woorkin here for faurteen years. They all know Vincent."
ARU and I get out and follow Vincent inside.
"Belize is de heaven, you gonna love it. Bedder dan the USA. USA is foor Boosh, but Belize is foor de Lard. It's heaven. You gonna loove it. Give me da passpoorts"
...
AND WE DID!
AND HE WALKED AWAY WITH THEM!
...
I look at ARU and his eyes are fixed on the passports in Vincent's hand. Vincent takes them to the guard behind the desk, motions to us and gets two declaration forms for us to fill out. All the while Vincent is saying things like "Mees Lilly. How you be?", and "Baws mon... you take car o' dem ladees naw"
(I swear to God I am not making this up!). ARU and I fill out the forms and get our passports back (I have never held on to something as tightly as I did that passport, I tell you what) and Vincent motions for us to come to the front of the line, cutting infornt of about 15 people.
We get our passports stamped with a one month entry visa and then he motions for us to go to the next desk to get the vehicle registered.
"Mees Reyah, she da Queen. She da baws ladee. Mees Reyah... Vincent is good, yah?"
In between bites of mango dipped in salt and pepper, she writes up the paperwork and we go outside to the car for inspection.
She goes through the luggage and our emergency car kit and my bag of souvineers (Vincent is pulling out the bags and loading them back in for us. He is still staring at me and running his tongue along his three gold teeth). 
While she was inspecting the vehicle, Vincent tells me that I should exchange my pesos into Belize dollars.
"Where can I do that?" I ask.
"Right deer," and he motions to a guy standing on the other side of a chainlink fence (actually, it looked like the exercise yard of a prison) with a calculator hanging from a chain around his neck. I laugh and ask him if he's serious.
"Oh Mees Saaaraaah, is for de trooth. He goona give you a good rate. Better dan de bank. Seex to won, Mees Saaaraaah." So, I poke 300 pesos through the chainlink fence and get $50 Belize dollars off of a HUGE wad that this guy (who actually looks like he belongs in a prison exercise yard) pulls out of his pocket.
Everything was declared to be in order with the car (I don't think she really cared) and we got back in the car with Vincent and drove a few hundred meters to the insurance corporation of Belize to get the car insured.
"Wait heer," he says and heads inside. We don't. We go in and ARU gives his information and asks if he can pay by credit card.
"Da machine ees offlhine," he says. "You gonna have to pay da cash."
("Uh huh... suuure" I says in my head. He is still staring at me. He calls me "Mees Saaaraaah" and licks his teeth)
We get the car insured for one month and head outside. 
"See? Ah toll you dat Vincent gonna take good caar of yoo. See? Faast throo de immigration and insurance. Vincent is a good guy, Mees Saaaraaah."
ARU thanks him for his assistance and takes two $20USD bills out of his wallet.
"Now ah gots to give dem each one (he motions to the people inside immigration), and den whaats left fer Vincent? Dis is how I make me living. I gotta baby coomin and ah isn't lahing to yoos. You know, some money for de babee, for de muther, get some good food from Mexico. When you come bak, you look for me. Ah assist you to cancel de permit, help you get home, no charge. Vincent is good, right Mees Saaaraah?"
ARU gives him another $20 USD.
"And what Mees Saaaraaah got faur Vincent?", he asks staring and licking.
I pull out $11USD and he smiles a big, toothy gold grin.
"Tank you both veery mooch. Welcome to muh countree. You gonna loove it in Belize," and he jogged back to the road to catch a ride back to the border to await another pair of stupid gringos so he could begin all over again.
ARU and I got back in the car and laughed and laughed at how we had been taken. I laughed all the way into the next town.

Lessons learned... lessons learned.

It was good to see my Dad after 8 years and we talked long into the night.
But that's a story I'll save for another post.

Peace.

And we're off!
Pucked up the Jeep yesterday from the dealership and took it for a test drive along the tourista playa (tourist beach). ARU was happy with it's performance and we told the hotel staff that we were checking out in the morning (I susupect that they were happy to get rid of us, as every morning we had to go down to the desk and have our key card reactivated. Every time they would ask "When are you checking out?" and roll their eyes!).

We celebrated with helato (frost... a type of ice slush flavoured with fruit) from GueraGuera, a local chain that attracts attention by having young men stand on the street and yell "Guerra Guerra!" really loud and really fast. AND, you can stop your car infront and give them your order and they'll deliver it to you before the light changes! Now that's progress!

We left Veracruz this morning and got onto the Autopista (a toll highway). The roads are wide, well maintained and chock full oif armed guards at all the stops. The bathrooms are clean, free and have toilet seats (that's a big deal here!) AND toilet paper! Oh, and the prerequisite armed guard. I have never felt safer while I was peeing.

We drove through lush valleys overflowing with coconut trees, sugarcane, pineapple shrubs and coaco trees. It was very beautiful.
We also saw many waterbirds and an iguana sunning itself on the highway.
We arrived in Villahermosa at about 3:30 in the afternoon and checked into the Best Western Maya Tabasco (Tabasco is the state that Villahermosa is in).
The hotel is beautiful (the bar is built around a giant living tree) and the staff are very friendly, even with my fractured Spanish. ARU and I took a siesta (that's a Mexican tradition I could get used to) and then went for dinner. It was tasty, but expensive (300 pesos for us both).

Tomorrow we leave for Belize. I hope I can get  a good internet connection while I'm there!

Thanks for reading this far. I'll write more soon.

Peace.